Moving on

The decision was made today that J will not be returning to us after all.  My heart aches.  His hurts run far deeper than anyone had imagined.  And J needs help from those trained to deal with those deep layers of pain.  If only those extra cuddles and life with a "normal" family were enough ...... but they aren't.  We do not know yet when J will be moving to his next place, so for now we will go and visit when we can.  With every child our lives are changed, I just pray that we are making a positive impact on their lives as well.  Please hold J and all of us in your prayers.  Letting go is never easy.......

Challenges

Recent days have been challenging to say the least.  It got to the point that I began to feel like my life was a war zone.  After yet another battle this morning, I made some phone calls, met with the Psychiatrist, and J was admitted to our the mental hospital.  This is not his first time there.  They will be monitoring him as they make changes to his medication.  Previously his admission was part of moving to another home.  Once I assured him that when the hospital said it was ok he would be coming home again he began to settle down.  My heart just breaks for him, but I am so thankful that he can have the chance to be more stable emotionally and get the help he needs to achieve that!  He is such a precious little boy and I am going to miss his giggle around here.  We will get to visit him though and he can call home as well.  This is new territory for him in that aspect.  Don't know how long he will be there, but I anticipate life being a little easier for us all when he returns than it has been over the last few days.

First Day

J had a good first day of school!  He woke up just before 4 this morning and was playing around for about half an hour.  Thankfully he was able to go back to sleep.  I got him up just after six and he was very excited to get ready for school!  Kerrie went with me to drop him off and we both gave him quick hugs and were on our way back home.  I picked him up in the afternoon and man was it HOT like 105F HOT!!  UGH!!  We were thankful to come home to nice cool air.  Once Russ got home and changed we went out for tacos!  Going out to dinner on the first day of school is a tradition around here.  So that was a fun thing for us!  They do not nap during the day at this school and so as J was watching a movie while waiting for Russ he fell asleep.  I know he will sleep well tonight!  I have been able to meet with his teacher and help her know and understand him a little better.  I really like her so far!  She is willing to communicate with me to help J so we are forming a good team. 

Road trip

J did great on our road trip!  He watched movies in the car and that really helped him pass the time.  He had met Russ' folks and so going to their house was not too strange...just a new location not new people.  He did get to meet Russ' brother and brother's wife.  Going to a new church with LOTS of new people was just a bit too much on the heels of a full day of travel the day before and so J and I sat out of Church.  Monday we took the jogging stroller to the mall so he had a safe place to be while we were out and that made a huge difference for him.  He had a GREAT time in Build-a-Bear and in the Lego store!  He took the bear he made and called it his son and was very gentle with it.  So sweet to see!  Tuesday was another day in the car but movies again passed the time.  Yesterday was a bit more challenging as he was very tired from the trip but even though he made some sad choices, and he got mad at me, he simply cried on his bed then let me rock him and all was right with the world again!  Such a HUGE difference from some of his tantrums!  Not long now till we start a new routine with school!  He is excited to get started!!

possible solution

Yesterday J and I started talking about finding something else to do when was mad other than throwing things, hitting, and screaming.  He started up this morning working himself into a fit so I scooped him up gently and we sat on the couch rocking back and forth and talking.  This seemed to diffuse him very quickly and he was much happier after that.  So we decided that when he starts getting mad or upset he can come sit in my lap and we will rock and talk.  I hope he really will do it.  He has begun hugging me now.  I have watched him start hugging everyone else, but he was not reaching out to me for some reason.  I just waited knowing he would come to me in his own time and he has.  I know he is pushing the limits some to try to find the point at which we will reject him too.  Thankfully we are equipped to handle this with God's help and he is not finding rejection where he expects it.  We keep focusing on the fact that he is a good boy even when he doesn't make good choices.  He's growing, and slowly moving down the path of healing.  It's a long road.....

full week

It's been a very busy week, but we had only one day of challenges!  I had really anticipated more, but J has done really well this week.  Even with several VERY full days in a row he has kept a cheery disposition and kept up with his chores!  So for the second week in a row he earned all his stars on his chart!!  He's VERY excited about his puzzle prize this week!  Next week will be a busy one too but he will have fun at VBS!

Successes

As we prepared to be a foster family and we read and discussed and trained, I really wondered if I would remember all that I was learning.  Well I am remembering enough to have successes in dealing with the challenges I'm presented with.  J decides now and then that he needs to find out what will happen if he does x y or z.  Thankfully he is responding well to the redirection I give.  Today he said "I throw fit" and threw a couple of toys....those toys went into time out and then I was "mean" and he went off to his room.  I checked on him after a couple minutes and he rocked with me for a minute and he was ready to go play.  He has been mostly his cheerful self the rest of the day!  It's nice to know that these principles I've been learning really do work!  So he can push, challenge, or just be cheerful and I am confident that we will be able to tackle it all together and come out on top!